Honing In On A Job: Six Degrees of Separation and Your Great Aunt Mabel

By Deborah Prussel of AdvancingWomen.com

People are the critical element. The most unlikely person may be the one to open the doors. Whether looking for the first or second or third job, or wanting to change careers, talk to everyone, from the manicurist, to great Aunt Mabel to the obvious sources, your industry contacts.

Networking, as defined by Dee Helfgott, whose name is synonymous with the word, "Ú is people connecting and collaborating." It is a persons' active collaboration in a process that "Úcreates a synergistic partnership which results in an exciting exchange of information, ideas, contacts, and other resources. One chance meeting the right person can change your life and theirs."

Elaine Keltner, President of the Board of Directors of Harbour Area Halfway Houses in Long Beach, California vividly remembers how she found her job and career. A visit to her college employment counselor led to an interview. The woman with whom she was to meet greeted her with, "I don't know why you're here, we don't have any job openings. I kept trying to tell your counselor that." Flabbergasted, Keltner got up to leave. As she was heading toward the door, the woman called her back, and said that since she was there already, she would make a few phone calls for her. The result of one of those phone calls, was employment with the Youth Development Authority where she worked in various capacities until her recent retirement.

There are books and classes on networking with dictums such as; meeting seventeen new people each week, hand your business card to anyone and everyone, work the room. According to Judith Luther-Wilder, CEO of Women Incorporated, a company she founded twenty years ago, "Everyone, including the pet pig, has written a book about the subject. Twenty rules do not work. Each community is different, and much of what is written does not take into account ethnic issues. At its best, networking is exploring personal interests."

Lee Bright, President of Bright Marketing International and Director of Marketing for The Food Show, teaches a seminar entitled, "Building a Relationship in Five Minutes or Less." Bright has an amazing ability to draw out people, and she truly listens to what they are saying. One of the keys to networking she says is, "Ú the ability to make a person feel they are the only people in the world. What people remember about you is how interested you were in them." Everyone likes to talk about themselves, especially their favorite things whether it is their business, children, issues, or hobbies. One writer was able to develop an excellent relationship with a well known activist, not only due to their interest in the same cause, but also due to their mutual love of books and book stores and trading stories of the zany antics of their respective cats.

People are the critical element. The most unlikely person may be the one to open the doors. Whether looking for the first or second or third job, or wanting to change careers, talk to everyone, from the manicurist, to great Aunt Mabel to the obvious sources like people you know in the industry or company. E-mail address books can provide invaluable help. A nice, short note with a, "please feel free to forward," can result in some interesting and diverse suggestions; it also does not intrude a great deal on anyone's time. Notes to family, friends, names on the rolodex asking for help and suggestion on the job search can also bring positive results.

Patty DeDominic, founder and CEO of PDQ Personnel Services, Inc. and a well known speaker, writes in her book, The New World of Work, about the importance of pampering the people whom you have asked for help. Personal, hand-written thank you notes are always appreciated. Cards during the holiday season remind the recipient about you and provide another opportunity to say their help is appreciated. Common sense and good manners go a long way. Luther-Wilder puts a great deal of emphasis on connecting between volunteering for an organization and networking. If contemplating a career change, volunteering offers the individual the opportunity to learn and be appreciated, at the same time while providing the environment to decide if this is really the change they want to make. An oriental studies major, Luther-Wilder credits volunteering as starting point for every amazing job she has had.

Opportunities exist in volunteering that may not be available in the traditional corporate environment. She was speaking, as a volunteer, about war crimes to an audience that included Peter Sellars, the director of the Los Angeles Opera. Impressed with her abilities, Sellars proceeded to offer her the job as executive director of the LA Festival. This was a position that neither her academic training nor prior job history would not necessarily have "qualified" her to obtain through traditional channels. A friend of Bright's who sold real estate, started out volunteering for local political candidates and non-profit agencies dealing with women's issues. She discovered she loved the advocacy and fundraising. Through the contacts she made in these two areas, she was able to leave real estate for a career in the non-profit world as a development consultant. Many of the traditional networking concepts whether it is taking five people to lunch each week, or introducing yourself in a room of 100 strangers may work for those who are outgoing. More reserved people do better in more neutral surroundings or in environments where they share common interests with others.

"If you are genuinely interested in someone, it will show," a belief Bright and Luther-Wilder share. "People do not like to be worked," contends Luther-Wilder. "Networking is not a volume business. When there is a connection it is because of a commonality of interests." Reciprocity is another element that needs to be emphasized. If someone asks for your help and it is something you can do, do it. Bright's financial planner has a son who is a screen writer; a mutual friend has an acquaintance whose son writes for two well known television series. The two young writers are now discussing career opportunities. Synchronicity, six degrees of separation, networking; it is all about people connecting and remembering that perfect source can come from anywhere.