Most people in business are prepared for the normal headaches that come with any job: deadlines, presentations, supply chain glitches and a million more everyday hassles that you know how to deal with. Something that may be a little more difficult to handle is a difficult coworker. “Difficult” is a spectrum word that can mean anything from someone who talks too much to something more serious like harassment in the office.
While the corporate offices of America are littered with shards from all the glass ceilings that have been broken, unfortunately, women, are still far more likely to encounter difficult situations at work. Maybe a coworker thinks he can pile his own work on to your desk thinking you’ll complete it for him. Maybe a coworker is loud, obnoxious, pretends to be a know-it-all or even wants to take up too much of your time gossiping. When you find yourself being forced to spend long hours with someone who you’d be much happier if they were taking an extended holiday in Antarctica, the situation can be stressful. It can make you dread coming in to work and spill over into all facets of your life.
Here’s a few tips on how to deal with this.
Don’t be a victim
When there is any kind of harassment or bullying at work, it is very important that you deal with it immediately. Letting it slide and hoping it will go away on its own is a disastrous strategy. If you let someone walk all over you one time, it will continue and probably get worse. It’s understandable to be tolerant and turn the other cheek in normal situations, but harassment should never be considered normal.
Consult other coworkers
Before you confront a difficult person, talk through your problem with a few people you trust. This does not mean spreading gossip. When you dwell on an issue and keep it bottled up, you may start to lose perspective. Sometimes even the simple act of saying what you’re thinking out loud can make you feel better and change how you feel about the whole thing. When you have a sympathetic ear or two, you can hopefully feel more certain about what is the correct course of action.
Meet in private
If you decide that you do need to confront a difficult person, don’t make it a public scene. Try to make the discussion as constructive as possible. Focus on their strengths and what they can do to improve in areas that need a little work. Be a good listener and take a kindhearted approach. Never ridicule or belittle the person, or get so angry that you burn bridges. This approach can reflect badly on you and backfire in a big way.
Take a look in the mirror
Before you call out others for what they are doing, make sure that you’re not doing the same thing yourself! This sounds like pretty obvious advice and most of us are already familiar with the “golden rule,” but if you stop and really notice, you might see that your co-worker isn’t the only one who is gossiping or away from his desk too long. Just make sure that you’re on solid ground before you start rocking the boat.
Reinforce your position with office procedure
It’s easier to assert your position if your office already has an official set of guidelines and protocols in place. If somebody’s behavior is not only obnoxious, but also a violation of office policy, you will have a more solid reason to complain.
Be ready to forgive and forget, or take further action with superiors
If the situation resolves itself with your coworker and you have a chance to move on, take it. Don’t gloat or hold on to any spite for that person. Let there be a clean slate and start over fresh. However, if the problem cannot be resolved even after your best efforts, it may be time to get a manager or HR involved. Nobody wants to be a tattletale, but if someone has done something serious enough, then it’s important that they are reported. This includes any form of harassment, intimidation or criminal activity.
The problem of having a difficult coworker will undoubtedly come up at some point in everyone’s life. Hopefully it won’t be a common occurrence, but how you deal with it and how much control you let it have over you can be the difference between a minor bump in the road and years of misery. Just be smart, shrewd and decisive in your actions and you’ll likely achieve a favorable outcome.
About Lisa Copeland
Lisa Copeland is a global workplace expert specializing in culture, engagement, leadership and teamwork. She is part of the leadership team at The Culture Works. To learn more, visit www.lisacopeland.com and http://www.thecultureworks.com/