Written and interviewed by Katie Marler. Told from the perspective of Elyse Stoltz Dickerson, CEO of Eosera, Inc.
The pandemic is hard on everyone, including women in business. Because the pandemic disproportionally affects women (due to societal disparities in home and family workloads; women are often the mom, wife, daughter, employee, chef, chauffeur, teacher, and boss all at once), we are left exhausted and drained from doing everything your employer or job needs and being everywhere your kid needs. Zoom calls are interrupted by crying toddlers and restless kids, and nights are spent typing away on a laptop, getting in all the stuff you didn’t get done when you were chasing little people around instead of relaxing with a book. Instead of getting your normal lunch break at work, you’re making PB&Js for the family in between calls. The days are longer and shorter somehow all at once.
That’s why it’s important now more than ever to have a way of caring for yourself and keep a healthy mindset.
When things shift and there’s a major change, it’s valuable to have a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset.
It’s not necessarily that you have to have a positive, upbeat, bubbly mindset all the time. Firstly, it’s not attainable, and secondly, it’s exhausting to keep up and can actually end up being toxic to those around you if you dismiss feelings, situations, and tragedy with ill-timed positivity. But, if you have a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset, you’ll notice opportunities for learning and different ways to look at bad situations.
Take, for example, a failure at work. Maybe you didn’t understand what your boss wanted from you and you delivered a report that didn’t meet specifications. Instead of saying, “I’m bad at my job” you could say, “I now have a better understanding of what my boss wants from me. I can now deliver an enhanced report that meets all her needs.”
A growth mindset is one where you seize opportunities and learn from mistakes. It’s not one of self-pity, and it’s not one of negativity. In a growth mindset, you understand that you can develop your abilities and skills with hard work. In a fixed mindset, you believe that what you have is what you’ve got—that you either have it or you don’t.
It’s important to understand the difference between these two mindsets and realize which one you usually fall under. The first step to having a growth mindset is to realize that you can change your mindset to be growth-oriented. It’s okay that you’re not “naturally” a positive person. Realizing that can change in and of itself is embracing the growth mindset.
So, when a pandemic comes, you have the tools and the emotional and mental strength to bear it. It’s not comfortable, and it’s not ideal, but it’s something you can work with by working from home, spending more time with your family, and delegating to others to help with the load of owning your own business and being a working mother.
Of course, it’s very difficult to do all those things and be all those people, this I know. But with a growth mindset, I am able to acknowledge the hardship while still see it as a learning and stretching opportunity.
Remember, it’s always okay to ask for help. You can’t do everything alone, and you shouldn’t have to. Having a growth mindset does not mean you have to struggle alone. Enlisting your partner, family, friends, and even your children can lighten the load of duties and responsibilities on your plate.
Choosing to have this growth mindset is sometimes not an easy choice. It can be difficult to see situations through a different lens when you’re used to thinking a certain way. And personally, I don’t think you can think constructively all the time. Allowing yourself to feel your feelings can be helpful to get past them. I’m not saying to wallow for months about a mistake you made or about the situation you’re in with this pandemic. It’s a fine line. I’m saying that it’s okay to not be okay—but also understand that’s not a fixed trait you have. Feeling emotions when you know they are not here to stay is a helpful way to look at a mistake or tragedy. Our mantra at our office is “this too shall pass”. It means that bad times won’t last forever. It also means that good times won’t last forever either, so you have to soak up every minute.
When you see life in this perspective, the drama of making a mistake at work or surviving months at a time at home with your restless children seems like a learning experience or a way to get closer with your family. It’s difficult, sure. But by having a growth mindset, you get something out of the experience. With a fixed mindset, it’s mostly the drama.
Being mentally strong comes easier to some than to others, but everyone can achieve a growth mindset if they practice and stay committed. Not comparing yourself to others is also a good start when practicing a growth mindset.
Remembering that seeing experiences as opportunities to learn and grow is challenging, but worth it.
About Katie Marler
Katie Marler, marketing communications associate for Eosera, Inc., graduated from TCU with her master’s degree in rhetoric and composition. Eosera, Inc. is a biotech company committed to addressing underserved healthcare needs. Eosera has a comprehensive line of ear care products for all your ear care essentials, addressing earwax removal, ear cleaning, and ear itch. Katie interviewed Elyse Dickerson, CEO of Eosera, and wrote this article in Elyse’s perspective.