By Mary Johnson, editor Bizwomen.com
I had it all wrong.
That happens when you only have one side of the story. And I had only ever known what it was like to stand on the receiving end of a mentoring relationship.
Until Mentoring Monday, Bizwomen’s annual event that draws together more than 10,000 women in 43 cities on the same day to take part in “speed-coaching.” About 40 successful women in each city serve as mentors, and several hundred more come to tap into their experience and expertise.
For the past two years, I have been a casual observer at Mentoring Monday. This year was going to be different. I was going to be a mentor.
If we’re being totally honest, I assumed “mentor” is a pretty sweet gig. As we tell our mentors who participate — and there were about 1,900 involved this year — all you have to do is “bring your wisest self.”
Sounds easy enough, right? Not so much.
Turns out I was wrong about the whole mentoring relationship. I figured the onus was on the mentee to do the majority of the work. The mentee needs to prepare questions and study the book of mentors and strategize where she will spend her time. The mentors already have everything they need. They have the experience and the accomplishments. Just withdraw as needed.
Turns out, it’s not such an easy thing to translate your personal experience into valuable lessons. It’s humbling when someone asks you how you’ve figured out the issue of “balance,” and you realize the only authentic way to answer is, “I haven’t.” And it’s a lot of pressure to look across the table, into the eyes of an eager woman, and know she wants your guidance about very real issues in her career.
All that came crashing down on me as the event began and the first woman sat down in front of me. And I made a decision right then that I was going to be completely candid, but I would also divulge all the ways I was trying to do better (no guarantees). I would be authentic – share my successes and failures – in the hopes that I could help others succeed.
But I found the toughest part about being a mentor was, I didn’t know if any of what I said resonated. I know any advice can be meaningful. But will my advice help propel them toward their life and career goals? I hope so.
After Mentoring Monday wraps each year, I inevitably hear from a handful of women who ask, “What now?” The energy is infectious, and you leave feeling invigorated. And the natural question is, how can we keep this going?
Follow up. People think following up falls solely on the protégé and for the most part it does. But as I continue to navigate this new role as mentor, I am realizing the important part I can play in helping women make meaningful connections. Data and research show that people achieve more, faster when they have someone to help guide them. I want to be a part of that.
How many business cards do you collect that never make it out of your purse? How many people have you met who made an impact on you but you never took the chance to let them know? The spark is easy. But keeping it going is where all the good stuff starts to happen.
To learn more about mentoring and Mentoring Monday, visit www.bizjournals.com/bizwomen.