Did you eat all the rest and abandon your diet? And have more the next day?
Whether it’s a cookie, a lost sale, or a bitter dose of negative feedback, the same result occurs all too often… one mistake and people tell themselves, “I can’t. I quit.”
Highly successful people aren’t perfect either, but the big difference is… they don’t expect to be! They give themselves permission to make mistakes and experience setbacks. Then, instead of spiraling down into lethargy and depression, they take a deep breath, figure out what they learned (like… when you’re famished, don’t stand next to a platter of cookies at a party! Post yourself near the veggies and cold cuts.) Then HSPs re-focus on their outcome and keep going.
What successes have you had? And where do you store them?
In a drawer, scrapbook or old cigar box? Here’s a secret I learned by observing Highly Successful People (HSPs) for 20 years. HSPs have a Success File in their memory, and on their Smartphone or computer. When they’re eating, driving, or relaxing in bed, they “rewind” to when they woke up and review the successes they had that day… and in past days. Heads up: Even when the world acknowledges you, you still have to Success File. You have to acknowledge yourself to experience The Joy of Success!
Successes HSPs included were… ate a good breakfast, did my exercise routine, patiently called my child’s spelling words, responded to 8 phone calls and 23 emails… before I left for work. Wait! Those aren’t successes, you say. But for HSPs they are! They know their Big Successes came as the result of 1,000’s of tiny successes… like stopping to buy gas so they weren’t late for a deal-clenching presentation like the other guy! Why is remembering your successes so important? Because success in your past gives you confidence in your future… the self-confidence you need to keep going past setbacks and missteps.
What is success? HSPs use a very different definition!
For HSPs, success has three essential parts:
1- Completion… The dictionary says success is accomplishing wealth, respect and fame. But for HSPs it’s far more. Lots of people accomplish lots and lots of things but still don’t feel successful. Why? Because feeling successful requires an extra step… self-acknowledging.
2- Deletion… for HSPs, success has a vital second part. Success is knowing when enough is enough; when a job, relationship or method isn’t working and it’s time to stop; when you’re pushing too long and hard and you need to regain your health, relationships and balance.
Heads up… When you notice the same incompletions occurring over and over, stop and ask yourself: Is this a goal I plan to complete? Or is this “a good idea” I have no real intention of completing? If so, it’s time to delete that “supposed goal” and substitute one you are committed to now.
For HSPs success is also…
3- Creation… using your accumulated knowledge and experience to break through to innovation, to new approaches, products and services. To new ways of living healthy successful lives.
HPSs Success File all three parts of success. And you can too!
They set aside a few minutes each day to ask themselves: What did I complete today? What did I give up or let go today? What did I realize and innovate?
When your Success File is low, you feel needy and insecure.
When your Success File is full, you feel Success-FULL. And FULL-Filled.
So give it a go… list as many of the 1,000s of things you did today as you can. No judgments, just list them. And try doing it with a friend or partner who can spur you on!
Susan Ford Collins is a sought-after speaker, trainer, and the founder of The Technology of Success. She began her career as a young researcher at the National Institutes of Health with a radical idea: to focus her research on healthy, highly successful people (HSPs) rather than dysfunctional ones. With more than two decades studying HSPs and two additional decades working with them, she now shares what she has learned about leadership and management. Susan and her husband live happily in their tropical Miami home, surrounded by lush gardens, koi ponds and an indoor/outdoor aviary filled with exotic finches.