It’s official. What women have been whispering to one another over Zoom calls and Facebook chats has become blindingly clear to even the most callous observer: the pandemic has hit women’s employment prospects hard.

If you’re like millions of other women, your boss began making noises about cutting costs or had already started layoffs within weeks of lockdown starting back in March. Or maybe you’re one of the many women who had been running a company, leading a startup, or managing a team that had to leave work to handle full-time at-home childcare and homeschooling. Work deemed “women’s” work is notoriously undervalued, and industries dominated by women – restaurant, retail, childcare – have been eviscerated by shutdowns, which are starting up again all over the country after a fleeting return to something at least a little closer to normalcy. And regaining the ground we’ve lost over the last 10 months is going to be a long and hard-fought endeavor. The job losses have rippled out across every industry, and when it’s time for cuts to be made, it seems clear that women are deemed expendable – we’re more likely to be terminated when there’s a choice between a man and a woman. After all, the thinking goes, if she has a husband, does she really need a job? Basically, if you had a job that was neither essential nor could be done at home, you were potentially on the chopping block. And while a great deal of frontline and essential work is done by women, we’re still taking the brunt of the pandemic’s economic fallout.

Rather than delve into the deeply-rooted causes of that, how systemic gender bias puts us at particular risk for economic disruption during these frightening times, I want instead to talk to those of you who have already lost their jobs – take heart. Hope is not yet lost. If I know anything about women – and I think I do – it’s that we’re relentless, dogged, and determined. We possess the hardest of cores; a lifetime of gritting our teeth and getting it done has seen to that. So I’m going to tell you what countless moms have told daughters on the verge of quitting: pick those pom-poms/that ball/stick/bat/giant mascot head back up and get back in the game.

You Can’t Control What You Can’t Control

First: please go easy on yourself. Look, I know you’re stressed out and you can’t just magically turn it off, but there are steps you can take to minimize it. I recommend remembering that what isn’t in your control isn’t your problem to solve. The pandemic is here and it has taken its toll.

There are so many opportunities for despair, but despair isn’t helpful, and right now you need to hang onto hope like your life depends on it. There’s a short-lived adrenaline rush to moments of crisis – our eyes focused, hyperalert for danger and escape routes – that can easily come crashing back down into hopelessness. That way lies madness. Take some time to process your feelings, as long as it resolves to acceptance of the situation and optimism about your future. You’re a superstar. You can handle this. You’ve tackled worse before. And yes, there’s a pandemic, but all that does is change the layout on the field; the game remains the same. That pop-fly heading your way might be wild, but you’re capable of getting right underneath it so it lands gently in your glove.

…So Control What You Can

I know you’re in a bind, and that you’re probably really scared. But there are resources out there, seek them out. Talk to your landlord about delaying or forgiving rent; if that’s not possible, reach out to tenant legal aid organizations about your rights and possible legal remedies. Take advantage of food banks or other organizations providing aid for food insecurity. Reach out to friends and family for assistance meeting the expenses you can’t forgo or defer, if you can. None of this is your fault, and you don’t need to feel bad about needing help right now. That’s the whole point of living in a society – any one of us can get knocked down in life, we should be able to turn to each other when we do. There is nothing you could have done to stop the pandemic (and the resulting economic crisis from months of dereliction by leadership at all levels) by yourself.