4 steps to finding freedom and leaving your story behind
Most people are aware on some level that their childhood has helped shape the person they are today – for better or for worse. Drinkers, spenders, overeaters and other over-indulgers often learned their vices from what they observed growing up. But Dr Lisa Cooney, a psychologist, counselor and Being You facilitator doesn’t believe anyone needs to stay trapped in the ‘cages’ constructed by their upbringing.
And she should know, having endured an extreme childhood situation herself.
Cooney’s chain of physical, psychological and sexual abuse began at the age of three and continued, on and off, until she was 23. If there was ever anyone who could feel justified in saying she had the right to be a total mess because of her life, it would be her.
On the contrary, she now leads a joyous existence travelling the world, earning great money, and doing a job that brings her huge fulfilment – she helps audiences, individuals and groups get out of where they’re stuck so they can lead great lives too.
Lisa’s ‘aha’ moment came after years of going off the rails to cope with what she had endured. ‘I literally stepped out in front of a bus when I was 27, but some invisible force pulled me back.’
After this suicide attempt was thwarted, seemingly by a force greater than her, Lisa realized she didn’t want to stay trapped in her past and had every reason to live a great life.
“I know my situation is extreme, but this really applies to anyone whose current behavior is being dictated to by the events of their past: people who think they’re not worthy of finding love, people who are struggling financially, people who can’t find employment. Often, they’re trapped in a cage from an earlier time in life and they don’t realize they can actually release themselves and be free to be them.”
In her Being You Adventures classes, Lisa teaches some simple steps to help people who feel trapped move on from their childhood, and their story, to living a life they want:
1.Know you have choice
Sometimes it’s as simple as realizing that you have choice in every moment.
2.Find your own, real, voice
Don’t be the person you were when things went wrong. Do you want that person, from back then, running your life and making your decisions? Ask yourself who you are being and what lies you’re buying into in the process. Who would you be, if you didn’t have that back story?
3.Actually, work out what you want to create for your future
Many people get so caught up in the past they forget that they deserve a great future, just like everyone else. What do you want? Who do you want to be? What are you willing to do to get it?
4.Change your vocabulary
Eliminate words like victim or suffered and talk in more empowered terms, like a person moving forward. For example, rather than saying, “I can’t because…” rephrase this to “I don’t know how yet.” Instead of saying, “I don’t have money,” change this to, “I am an amazing creator and I can actualize financial possibilities every day!”
5.Choose for you
Do what makes you happy and follow the joy.
About Dr Lisa Cooney
Dr Lisa Cooney is a bestselling author and leading authority on thriving after abuse. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, certified Access Consciousness and Being You Facilitator, and Master Theta Healer, she has supported thousands of people over the past 20 years in living beyond their childhood sexual abuse to create infinite possibilities for themselves. She is a bestselling author, delivers a radio show on Voice America and is an internationally sought out facilitator, speaker, and group leader, who shares her expertise on topics including, building wealth, moving on from abuse and embracing and loving yourbody
www.drlisacooney.com. Follow @DrLisaCooney.