By Karen Berg ,Founder of Kabbalah Centre International
There is a beautiful concept in Kabbalah called “binding by striking”. This is a profound lesson, but in short, it means that energy is created not by two people who have the same ideas, but rather when two people with differing opinions find a way to respect and maintain each other’s point of view. In other words, creating a reality where both opinions can remain whole.
Kabbalah is an ancient wisdom that explains how energy flows through this universe and in life–both on a spiritual and literal level. Kabbalah can provide instruction and tools about how to engage and diffuse conflict, both personally and professionally.
Kabbalah teaches us that the purpose of humanity is to transform negative energy to positive energy, thereby becoming the cause of Revealing Light and eliminating darkness. Being the cause is a very strong drive within all of us: it is in many ways what makes us human but at the same time it can be the reason for opposition and separation. There is another strong force inside of us – the ego. The ego wants it all. For the ego, it is not enough to be the cause. The ego does not want to share the spotlight, and so it challenges us to preclude anyone else from finding that Light. However, the ego exists to challenge us to overcome it, and in so doing we become better versions of ourselves.
Within a work environment conflicts arise every day, and much of the time it is due to this egoism. However, in establishing awareness that disagreements and conflicts are how energy is created, and setting up an environment where all opinions can remain intact, we can transform dispute into a very powerful means to create something brilliant.
Consider fire and water. When brought together, water will try to snuff out the fire, and fire will evaporate the water, but if you add a vessel, the fire and water both remain intact and remain true to their essence – and we can make a cup of tea.
Kabbalah teaches us that what may appear to be a clash of interests may, in fact, be an opportunity to bring in energy and vitality. Every time we see or experience a negative situation there are things we can do to transform the darkness to Light, the discord to harmony, and the frustration to creation. Here are some tips Kabbalah teaches us:
1. It’s important that our opinions do not become too similar.
If argument and criticism disappear then all ideas and intellectual advancement will cease. Differences can be considered positive.
2. Listen without any judgment to what the other person is really saying.
Find the good, the Light, in the other person’s ideas (note this is harder work to do then finding what is wrong). But, in the end, it’s worth it.
3. Seek empathy to understanding and feeling the people in the conflict, trying to discover more about who they are, where they have been, and why they think the way they do.
Perhaps there is another way to view them and their opinion that you did not consider before.
4. Look inside for lessons you can learn from this negative experience, perhaps by examining where your ego might be stirring things up.
Focus on “being the cause” by remaining in control of yourself, not the other person or the situation.
5. Use your words.
We use this expression with our children, but it’s a powerful message for adults also. By this I mean, find a way to put a positive angle on what you have to say. Is there a way to get your message across and still be kind, still be generating Light instead of darkness? Is there a way to “be the cause” and allow the other person or people to be the cause also?
6. Be prudent with the truth.
While yes, it’s important to be authentic and communicate your truth, there’s always a way to say things that respects the truth of others, as well. It isn’t easy, but that’s what creates great results. There’s a fine line between honesty and discretion.
Challenges or conflicts are ways for us to check in and connect to the greatest parts of ourselves as we search to find the greatest part of others. The most significant and positive opportunities come to us often through channels that may appear negative. By transforming your energy in a challenging situation, you may be surprised how much productivity and success you can inspire in yourself and in others in your workspace.