The people who reach the C-suite, corner office, or whatever represents the top of their field have wide, robust networks they rely on. On television shows in the 1980s and 1990s—and in actual offices at the time—these networks were represented by a fat Rolodex packed with business cards and prominently displayed on a wide oak desk. Today, a person’s network is reflected in their electronic contact list and social media profiles.
In our socially connected world, sending and accepting friend requests is nothing short of the norm. But how many of us truly make the most of these connections?
Networking is more than just hanging out with your peers or tapping into those people who are in your immediate circle. Your network consists of more than your close colleagues or the people who make up the foursome in your vendor’s annual golf tournament. True networking means taking full advantage of the breadth of experiences you’ve had over your lifetime: from the people you grew up with to the folks who went to your elementary school to someone you exchanged contact information with after a great conversation on a plane years ago. Your potential network includes all of those people—plus the networks they’ve built themselves.
Six degrees of separation from your next critical connection
Just recently, I was trying to get a meeting with a woman who is a high-level executive at CBS. I reached out to my attorney and asked if she knew this executive. My attorney thought about it and said, “I don’t know her, but I’ve worked with someone who worked with her. And you and I have a mutual friend who worked with her. Why don’t you reach out to our mutual friend?”
This mutual friend isn’t someone I’m in contact with a lot, but I called her. She said, “Sure, I know her. I haven’t spoken with her in a while myself, but I’ll email her and copy you on it.”
Within 48 hours, I had set up a meeting with that very senior executive.
Sometimes the contact who makes the connection for you is a friend of a friend of a friend. This concept, known as six degrees of separation, holds that people are, on average, just six or fewer social connections from each other, and this includes our professional networks. Social media platforms like LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram make it easier than ever to identify that “friend of a friend.” But we need to be willing to leverage those connections.
Women, especially, tend to hesitate when it comes to this level of networking because we’re taught to be pleasers, and we resist asking for favors. But networking isn’t an act of aggression, and supporting our friends, colleagues, and contacts in connecting with people in their professions is something we should all be doing more of.
Early in my career, as I was growing my civil rights law practice, I remembered a law school classmate who had taken an important government job. I hadn’t been close to her in school, but I reached out to her and told her about my practice. The timing couldn’t have been better: She was looking to hire a law firm, and for years after that first phone call, her agency was one of my firm’s biggest clients.
I had a similar experience marketing my book Make It Rain. I wanted to hold a book signing event in New York City and knew of a high school classmate who was working there as a consultant for a large nonprofit. I connected with her, and her organization ultimately sponsored the event. It was one of my most successful book events ever, bringing over 250 women together for a book signing and shopping event.
Make your network wide and broad
Caroline Castrillon makes the point in Forbes that men’s networks “tend to be larger and broader, which is an advantage because a wider audience provides more opportunity to be introduced to someone who may assist with career advancement” and that “men generally network with a clear goal in mind and are more comfortable asking for what they want.”
Castrillon also talks about the value of maintaining the small, close-knit groups women tend to nurture while also building out the broader networks that have served men so well.
Make networking part of your professional plan
Not every phone call or email will bring a big payback. That’s why you have to make networking a regular part of your plan for professional success, and that means being willing to craft focused requests and call on any of the individuals you’ve interacted with or encountered on your journey. Then, when that person one day reaches out to you to return the favor, you’ll be in an even better position to do so.
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ABOUT AREVA MARTIN
AREVA MARTIN is one of the nation’s leading voices in the media. An award-winning attorney, advocate, legal and social issues commentator, talk show host, and producer, she is a CNN/HLN legal analyst, former co-host of The Doctors and Face the Truth, and a regular contributor on Good Morning America, ABC World News Tonight, and Dr. Phil. She currently hosts The Special Report with Areva Martin and the radio talk show Areva Martin Out Loud. A Harvard Law School graduate, Martin founded Martin & Martin, LLP, a Los Angeles–based civil rights firm, and is the CEO of Butterflly Health, Inc., a mental health technology company. A best-selling author, Martin has dedicated her fourth book, Awakening: Ladies, Leadership, and the Lies We’ve Been Told, to helping women worldwide recognize, own, and assert their limitless power. Learn more at arevamartin.com.